‘She has no ambition’: I make $100,000. I’m buying a home before the wedding. My fiancée earns $50,000 and has $20,000 in student debt. What’s a fair prenup?

My girlfriend, 38, works just a few gig-type jobs that she loves and makes $50,000 a yr. She has little or no in financial savings and about $20,000 in pupil loans, and isn’t within the place to purchase or assist with a down cost, closing prices, and so on. She lives paycheck to paycheck, just about, and as she loves what she does, isn’t motivated to do anything to make extra.

We don’t dwell collectively, however we now have began the wedding dialogue and plan on transferring in collectively after I shut. My household isn’t thrilled concerning the relationship for just a few causes. My girlfriend doesn’t have a secure profession. She has no ambition, and makes considerably lower than I do. 

She understands and has stated she is completely satisfied to signal a prenup. I may also add that my brother goes by a nasty divorce, so the entire household is on edge. All of us dwell in Louisiana — a community-property regulation state — and his dishonest and playing estranged spouse is taking him to the cleaners.

Given all this, I need assistance determining what’s honest for the prenup and for our residing state of affairs. For the prenup, I used to be pondering that we embody no spousal assist or alimony, no sharing of retirement accounts or contributions made through the marriage, and everybody’s debt incurred through the marriage is their very own. 

The brand new home and mortgage shall be in my title alone. No matter she contributes to the mortgage shall be reimbursed if I ever promote the home — however not if we break up. Additionally, she shall be reimbursed for contributions towards capital enhancements.

So far as residing preparations, we’ll create a family funds to incorporate mixed bills akin to mortgage, utilities, groceries, eating out collectively, and so on. Till we get married, we’ll cut up issues down the center. After marriage, we’ll open joint financial savings and checking accounts. 

We every contribute the identical share to our checking account to cowl the family funds, so I’d pay extra since I make extra. Then we contribute the identical quantity every month to a joint financial savings account to construct a joint emergency fund.

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I can not plan for each eventuality, and these are very un-sexy premarital conversations. Is there anything I’m not fascinated about? Does this appear honest to me and my accomplice?

Planning Wedding ceremony & Prenup 

Pricey Planning,

I can reply your penultimate query. The ultimate query is in your accomplice. 

Marriage is many issues, however as you counsel, it’s a enterprise contract along with a dedication to spend the remainder of your lives collectively — or, on the very least, a present of willingness to try this.

Earlier than I get into the nitty-gritty of your prenuptial settlement, the overarching feeling out of your letter is of 1 one that holds all of the playing cards, and one other one that doesn’t get a lot of a glance in. Certainly, you point out that your loved ones doesn’t assist the connection, and your fiancée is vaguely — and sure unfairly — in comparison with your ne’er-do-well former sister-in-law.

I don’t get a transparent sense out of your letter that you simply respect and/or assist your accomplice’s selections. If in case you have misgivings about her unwillingness to change to a higher-paying profession observe — as an alternative of the one which makes her completely satisfied — the variations in your respective outlooks will solely worsen as time goes on, particularly because the financial imbalance in your relationship grows.

Dividing your funds forensically will solely go to date. Your letter targeted on the finance, however I suppose I hoped to learn one good factor about your fiancée. And I’m certain she has many high-quality qualities.

There aren’t any hard-and-fast guidelines in relation to prenuptial agreements. It actually will depend on what every occasion believes is honest. Your fiancée is signed up, however if you’re reimbursing her for her contributions to your mortgage in the event you promote the home, it could make sense (for her) in the event you would apply this precept to a doable divorce. In any other case, she shall be punished in the event you cut up, however the end result is identical for you. I’d counsel that any share your fiancée contributes to the mortgage is predicated in your salaries. For those who pay $1,000, she pays $500. 

There isn’t any point out of spousal assist or length of any spousal assist within the occasion that you simply cut up. That additional amplifies the “what’s yours is yours and what’s mine is mine” theme of your prenup plans, and doesn’t consider the distinction in your incomes. What occurs in the event you lose your job or if you’re sick for a chronic time period? Does your accomplice decide up the slack in your mortgage? Do the fairly onerous phrases of your prenup come again to chew you? The artwork of a prenup is to steadiness compassionate and supportive points with monetary ones.

As you arrange a joint account, you need to be certain that the cash from that account shouldn’t be used to make important renovations to your own home or that you simply use joint funds to pay the mortgage. That will doubtless commingle the property and switch it from separate to marital/group property.

Lastly, “ambition” is a tough phrase, and “no ambition” are trickier phrases. You’re equating wage with ambition, and your accomplice makes fairly near the typical wage in Louisiana. Ambition might additionally imply making a residing doing one thing you’re keen on.

This prenup protects you. I’m unsure it does precisely that in your fiancée. 

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